To write something critical on the internet is futile – a metaphorical scream into a pillow, a cathartic reaction. Now, bear in mind that what follows is far from revelatory; the fact that cars and bicycles collide can hardly be considered a secret. The fact remains that we continue to accept a traffic environment that allows this happen. What the Inquisition will describe is a minor altercation, but multiply this out across populations and infinite other complicating factors and sadly, injuries and fatalities will eventually occur.

Picture a scenario.
You are a cyclist travelling between two lanes of traffic, on your way to your destination and using the correct road positioning. As you ride between these two lanes cars pass on either side of you. You are, in essence, part of the traffic flow. All is as it should be considering your country subscribes to the 1968 Vienna Convention on Road Traffic, which clearly states that the bicycle is a legitmate means of road travel, equal to any other.

Now, as you proceed, minding your own business, you are passed on your outside by a car blaring its horn. As this car passes, it slows so the driver can gesticulate and inform you that they wish to proceed with due care on the footpath/get off their road/fuck off and die under a truck. Then, moving ahead, they pull in on top of you, suggesting by doing so, that they would like to impress upon you their unimpeachable rectitude. Just as they would like to impress their wheels on you, all over your head.

The first time this happens, you might be taken aback by the naked aggression, shocked that a vehicle was used in such a potentially lethal manner, simply because someone didn’t want to share THEIR road. You might also question your road positioning and awareness.

But every time it happens after that, you are always in the right. You are not impeding their progress, just holding your own position within the flow. These drivers obviously want you off their roads, they just see you as a second class road user and long for some kind of transportation apartheid.

No matter what, this is an infringement of a cyclist’s rights under international law. Not that this fact will help; you aren’t exactly going to go crying to the police that a bad person shouted at you because you were on a a bike, are you?

But the feeling of being right is reassuring. Even if someone is trying to impress their views all over your face.

The Problem

Still, clearly the initial hypothetical driver felt he had some legitimate grievance, namely that a cyclist should never take precedence over a car. Excepting the fact that he may just have been a contrarian looking for confrontation we are left with the obvious assumption that the driver in question sees traffic regulations differently to how they actually operate in Ireland (or wherever you are reading this).

So how to get a foreigner driving in Ireland?

If you are from another EU country, then welcome to our roads, where you may speed and cause carnage before returning home in the dead of night on a last minute flight.

Add to that the following countries who may partake in the pandemonium on our roads, for 12 months, without needing to exchange your licence for an Irish one:

• Australia
• Gibraltar
• Guernsey
• Isle of Man
• Japan
• Jersey
• South Africa
• South Korea
• Switzerland

Now, if you are a proper foreigner with a full licence, you also have 12 months grace after which you must undergo a theory test, do time in the purgatory of learner status and then complete your full test.

How there is no immediate equivalency test, or identification sticker, as with learners, is baffling. In other words, you may carry on as normal, obeying any rules you feel apply for at least 12 months. Then, you can do the test, or leave because you have killed someone.

The Side Swipe; a classic, this remains the favoured takedown move by bad drivers worldwide. If you live in one of those, frankly barking mad, countries that drive on the right look at this diagram through a mirror.

A Word to the Wise

The injustice of cycling increases exponentially in relation to the proximity of a cyclepath. If you are going straight on but the cyclelane goes left or right only – good luck! Uneducated traffic will push you from your chosen path like motorised sheepdogs herding a flock. Nevermind the fact that mandatory cyclelane usage which denigrates pedal traffic to second class status stands contrary to the Vienna Convention. They just want you off their road.

The Convention Signatories

The Geneva Convention on Road Traffic was drafted in 1949 and only three signatories did not renew, meaning it is still in force there but not replaced by the newer 1968 convention. Which three troglodytes of transportation? US, Australia and New Zealand. Take a bow, ye cretins.

Who did renew and signed the 1968 Convention?
The following:

• Aden Colony British Guyana (ADN)
• Albania (AL)
• Alderney (GBA)
• Algeria (DZ)
• Argentina (RA)
• Austria (A)
• Bahamas
• Bahamas (BS)
• Bailwick of Guernsey (GBG)
• Bangladesh (BD)
• Barbados (BDS)
• Belgian Congo (RCB)
• Belgium (B)
• Benin (DY)
• Botswana (RB)
• Brazil (BR)
• British Honduras (BH)
• Brune (BRU)
• Bulgaria (BG)
• Côte d’Ivoire (CI)
• Cambodia (K)
• Cameroons under French mandate
• Canada (CDN)
• Central African Republic (RCA)
• Chile (RCH)
• China (RC)
• Costa Rica (CR)
• Cuba (geen letters)
• Cyprus (CY)
• Czech Republic (CZ)
• Democratic Republic of the Congo (CGO)
• Denmark (DK)
• Dominican Republic (DOM)
• Ecuador (EC)
• Egypt (ET)
• Estonia (EST)
• Faroe Islands (FO)
• Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland
• Fiji (FJI)
• Finland (SF)
• France including French overseas territories (F)
• Gambia (WAG)
• Georgia (GE)
• Germany (D)
• Ghana (GH)
• Gibraltar (GBZ)
• Greece (GR)
• Grenada (WG)
• Guatemala (GCA)
• Haiti (RH)
• Holy See (V)
• Hong Kong (HK)
• Hungary (H)
• Iceland (IS)
• India (IND)
• Indonesia (RI)
• Iran, Islamic Republic of (IR)
• Ireland (IRL)
• Isle of Man (GBM)
• Israël (IL)
• Italy (I)
• Jamaica (JA)
• Japan (J)
• Jordan (HKJ)
• Kazakhstan (KAZ)
• Kenya (EAK)
• Kyrgyzstan (KS)
• Lao, People’s Democratic Republic (LAO)
• Latvia (LV)
• Lebanon (RL)
• Lesotho (LS)
• Lithuania (LT)
• Luxembourg (L)
• Madagascar (RM)
• Malawi (MW)
• Malaysia (MAL)
• Mali (RMM)
• Malta (M)
• Mauritius (MS)
• Mexico (MEX)
• Monaco (geen letters)
• Morocco (MA)
• Myanmar (BUR)
• Namibia (NAM)
• Netherlands (NL)
• Netherlands Antilles (NA)
• Netherlands New Guinea
• Nicaragua (NIC)
• Niger (NG)
• Nigeria (WAN)
• North Borneo
• Norway (N)
• Okinawa
• Pakistan (PAK)
• Papua New Guinea (PNG)
• Paraguay (PY)
• Participants Geneva Convention 2
• Peru (PE)
• Philippines (PI)
• Poland (PL)
• Portugal (P) all overseas provinces excluding Macau
• Principality of Andorra (AND)
• Republic of Korea (ROK)
• Romania (R)
• Russian Federation (SU)
• San Marino (RSM)
• Senegal (SN)
• Serbia (SRB)
• Seychelles (SY)
• Sierra Leone (WAL)
• Singapore (SGP)
• Slovakia (SK)
• South Africa (ZA)
• South West Africa
• Southern Rhodesia (RSR)
• Spain including African localities and provinces (E)
• Sri Lanka (CL)
• St. Lucia (WL)
• St. Vincent (WV)
• States of Jersey (GBJ)
• Surinam (SME)
• Swaziland (SD)
• Sweden (S)
• Switzerland (CH)
• Syrian Arab Republic (SYR)
• Tanganyika (EAT)
• Thailand (T)
• The Trust Territory of Western Samoa (WS)
• Togo (TG)
• Trinidad and Tobago ( TT)
• Trust Territory of Rwanda/ Urundi (RWA)
• Tunisia (TN)
• Turkey (TR)
• Uganda (EAU)
• Ukraine (UA)
• United Arab Emirates (UAE)
• United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (GB)
• Uruguay (U)
• Venezuela (YV)
• Winward Islands
• Zambia (RNR)
• Zanzibar (EAZ)
• Zimbabwe (ZW)

Bibliography
The Vienna and Geneva Conventions on Road Traffic
Foreign Drivers coming to Ireland

Original content created by: The Inquisition

The Albatross mid-test-flight at Drysden Air Centre

The Gossamer Albatross might well be the coolest bicycle ever. Aside from having a name that could be confused with being an exclusive, designer condom, this bike was a plane. Pedalled by Bryan Allen in 1979, it flew 23 miles across the English Channel to Boulogne. Thirty years later, it is still an amazing feat.

It wasn’t the first human powered flight. That honour went to Gabriel Poulin, in 1921, when he won 10,000-franc Prix Peugeot, the first prize for human powered flight at Longchamps racecourse. Another notable mention here would be MIT’s Daedalus which came very close to flying from Crete to Santorini in 1988. Much like its Grecian namesake it met a watery demise.

The cold, hard facts: 34ft long and 16ft high, it had a wingspan of 98ft. The wing area was 488ft². Its empty weight was 70lbs, and its maximum measured speed was 18mph. But who cares? Its a flying bicycle.

The Albatross was created by Dr Paul MacCready, whose company, AeroVironment, is the market leader in researching clean energy solutions for sustainable flight and transportation. Mc Cready went on to produce a solar powered variant, the Penguin, which flew from Paris to the UK in 1981. These days MacCready may be best known for his unmanned solar aircraft produced for Nasa – the Pathfinder series. These have raised the possibility of infinite flight as their batteries can retain sufficient charge to fly through the night.

Nasa's solar-powered Pathfinder series, developed by MacCready.

Variants 1: Human-powered Helicopters

These must be one of the singularly most unimpressive areas of human endeavour. The physics are just too unfeasible to make such flight worth it. As with all boffin-baited challenges, this does not stop people trying.

Although the Sikorsky Prize has not yet been awarded the California Polytechnic State University Da Vinci III, flew for 7.1 seconds and reached a height of 20 cm in 1989. The prize will be awarded to the first entry to reach an altitude of 3 meters (10 feet) during a flight lasting at least 60 seconds, while remaining in an area 10 meters square (36 feet square); so you can see it is completely pointless.

MIT's Daedalus Humna-powered aircraft

Variants 2; Others

There are, or have been a bunch of others:

• Poulin’s Avietta
• AERSP 404H
• Bossi-Bonomi Pedaliante
• DUT Icarus 001
• Gossamer Condor (The Albatross’ Precursor)
• MIT Daedalus
• PSU Zephyrus

Bonus Material

Paul MacCready talks at TED

Bibliography
Fiddlers Green – lightweight aviation enthusiasts
AeroVironment
AeroVironment NASA page on the Albatross
NASA page on Daedalus
Royal Aeronautic Society

Original content created by: The Inquisition

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